That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And then my night got REAL pukey
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
