Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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