Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
