i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
