literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize