i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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