I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
