I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Who wears a wallet chain?!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
