they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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