do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
