Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
