So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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