I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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