We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
