My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
