Kiss
Puke
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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