is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
