i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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