Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
