Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My pussy is not your playground.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
This toilet bowl is my home.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
