Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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