her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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