all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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