Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
