i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
