elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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