you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
