Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
