just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
