Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
