Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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