so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
