dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize