My brain says no but my pants say off.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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