dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
