i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
