I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
