I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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