Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
