You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
