Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
