haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
