This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
