I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
