Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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