I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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