Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
