just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
