my room smells like sperm. sweet.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
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then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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