He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
