Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
