Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
try to milk me bitch
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