just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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