Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We are all done wearing pants today
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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