why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
