Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
