I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
