note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
