So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
