I like to think it a success when the cops are called
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
