I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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