Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
