thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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